So my first update for a while. The Brecon Beacons Ultra has been and gone. One of the toughest challenges to date. Mind you I suppose each new challenge is tougher than the last. A whole new element to encounter. I went into the Brecon Beacons petrified. I suppose I thrive of the feeling. Almost always wanting to give up just before the start. Then conquering my own fears and doubts.
I often hear things like it must be easy for you or some form of derivative. All I can say is, it is not! Each I time I go for a run whether it be a 1 mile or 32 each is an internal struggle and battle to get out there. Once I do I wonder what all the fuss is about. And the tranquillity away from my own thoughts kicks in.
We all have our own little battles whatever they may be. I suppose it is tapping into the power of belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Applying it to your current situation. Conquering the seemingly impossible starts with the right mindset.
Its is all so easy to look at someone’s success and think that it happened overnight, but most of the time what you are witnessing is the last part of the journey. You miss all of the work that goes in to where they have got. Part of my journey is Oliver my late Nephew. This is one segment of my journey. The other segment’s are the long lost brothers and sisters (7) that where adopted when I was younger. This all plays part into me strive to be the best I can be. And see how far I can go.
The more I am accomplishing the more I am building up confidence and finding out there is much more to accomplish. I started out with The Great Wall Marathon. An off the cuff idea. One I thought of but one I thought I myself would fail at. I conquered the wall and am now looking forward to the Inca- trail / Everest and the Amazon. These are places I only ever dreamed of when I was younger. Yet now from working most hours within the day with a bit of hard work and determination they will be seen within the space of a year. I am not going to lie it is stressful, it is daunting and draining. In all senses emotionally, physically, and financially, However the biggest ask is. Is it worth It ? the answer is yes. Running has given me my life back.
It is interesting to think that if you dare to put yourself out there, that fortune will side with you. It appears that if you commit yourself to an endeavour and commit yourself to its achievement, then fortune and providence will be on your side. You will see amazing things happen that you never thought possible.
I say this in the 8 days before Peru and the challenge that faces me as the world’s toughest marathon distance! A mixture of doubt, anticipation and excitement. A place I never had a reason to see. But one I wanted to. Running gave me that purpose. I shall also be catching up with a friend Helen from Australia. The people I have met on this journey have become lifelong friends. I do not need to see them each day nevertheless I see them in the most random and exciting corners of the Earth.
What springs to mind was the fact the other day I was asked, why I ran? I was asked, do you not think you have done enough? Why do you do it to yourself? I was told to think of the damage to my knees and told what happens when I can’t walk when I am older!
I suppose the main question is, why do we do anything? Self-gratification is the main response. It isn’t in this instance just about me it is about the people I am raising funds for. The second response in response to my knees : many people go through their life not living an active life style and still having knees that do not function. Ailments and old age come to us all. When I am unable to run and such. I shall be able to look back and think what an adventure. As the saying goes, I would rather go into my grave kicking and screaming saying” what a damn good ride”. Rather than being well preserved and never living a day in my life.
The reason I am so open in this journey, is because each part of it past and present has brought me to this point. I have made some bad decisions and some good. I admit I am not proud of them all. Still as cliché as it may be, I am who I am because of these decisions. They will also play there part in who I will be in future (as will yours) I am deciding who am with each passing minute. Developing as each second passes, like a polaroid photo I get better with time.
Now to you all I say is “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Many people believe they done have the prerequisites or the tools to succeed . As I have said previously it is all to easy to think it isn’t the right place, or the right time, or the right resources in order become a success. What you do need to do!!! Get started now!!! From where you are and with what you have, your resources will grow as you go along. So do not waste another minute and get started on what it is you want to do!!